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Saturday, February 25, 2006


This was an extremely early cut of the film. The FX was not even close to done, no finished score and a lot of editing was needed. This is in by no means an 'official review'

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I've never in my life seen such an amazing movie that sucks so bad! But let me say there is A LOT of work to be done in Sony Screen Gems' 'Ultraviolet,' which stars the ultra hip and sexy Milla Jovovich. The FX work wasn't even 50% done and the movies running time was nearly two hours. There were tons of audio glitches and color imperfections- to be fair this review cannot and will not be rated (ok Mr. D?).

In 'Ultraviolet,' Milla Jovovich plays Violet, a Nurse turned Vampire during a freak accident where she gets blood in her eyes from a vampire. The movie takes place in the future and the rules of vampires have changed. They only live for ten years and then die from the rare disease. Crosses don’t affect them and some have problems with light. Point is, the rules don’t matter in this film anyways, because the only reason vampires are in the film is so the humans have someone to feud with. The only thing Violet has is extra special powers, strength (and a nice ass). Violet is on a mission for the vampires to claim a weapon that is supposed to wipe them out. She is told, "Don’t look inside," but when she does she finds a boy and decides to save the kid and break all the rules. Now everyone is after her while she tries to uncover the truth of the mystery surrounding the disease, the humans trying to kill the vamps and why the vamps are so interested in the boy. Thing is, none of this matters because the dialogue, storyline, acting and idea sucks.

So how can it suck so bad and yet be amazing? This movie has by far the best action sequences I've seen in years- some far superior to the second and third 'Matrix' films. Violet has a special wristband that can condense weapons and like in Desperado she can have them fully armed and in her hand in seconds and can chance them at will. She goes through hundreds of guns, swords and knives and unloads every single bullet. The choreography is phenomenal as the camera shows everything going on! There is no jittery quick cuts that make you squint and say, "What’s going on!" You see everything and everything you see kicks ass! The gun fights are mind blowing; I wanted to scream in ecstasy after each scene. The sword fights are impressive, especially the final battle that takes place in the dark with their swords on fire! Very cool indeed!

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Sure the action takes everything to a new level, but nothing can fix the cheese this movie unleashes, the only thing Screen Gems can do is remove as much as they possibly can. The acting, besides the sexy Milla, is god awful and the one-liners are so out of place. There are numerous scenes were the dialogue explains what’s going on like the audience is stupid and there are three scenes where the actors "tease" at a fight scene, which we never see. There is a transition to a park where Milla and the kid "6" are playing on a ferris wheel thing and to many flashback sequences. We don’t care about any of the characters and we find out unnecessary stuff like Violets husband is remarried after she got infected. The plot is too thick and there is a mess trying to explain it. The movie needs to be kicked in the balls and reassembled and re-cut to hell. Everyone in the focus group seemed to agree.

Back to the good, the soundtrack kicks ass. It made me remember the good ol' days when movies like 'Blade' graced theaters and blew me out of my seat. The great score with Crytsla Method blaring and swords blazing had me perked up in my seat in full attention. But the second the scenes were over I was sleeping again.

Before I conclude Id like to ruin a small scene from the movie that was so out of this world. Violet had a motorcycle that could defy gravity and she would drive up and down building and on trucks and all over the place!! This was easily the highlight of the film everyone will be talking about for years to come.

After some serious dissection, this movie could really rock my world. I’m really excited to see the finished work and I hope they really listened to us. It needs a major trimming and a new ending and of course the FX needs to be finished. I think 'Ultraviolet' will end up being the next 'Blade' if done right, if not, you’re going to have a movie that you need to turn off your brain until the fight scenes to enjoy. Good luck guys!

Reviewed by: Choco Fiend,


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